Thursday, November 10, 2005

MOVED
http://unwritten-.blogspot.com


my falling ; 9:16 PM

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

strumming my pain with his fingers

training today was tiring.
goshh, jiao lian was in a bad bad mood. :/
haiz.
suddenly snbt has so many problems.
i guess, it's not suddenly, it has always been there.
just that no one really addressed the problem.
we're so divided.
and yet, we don't seem divided. what's going on?

anyhow, training.
started off fine.
then it got horrible.
did drop and lob.
3 times 4 minutes of drop
and 2 times 4 minutes of lob.
god, it was HORRIBLE.
was so freaking tired and yet had to ping cos the pair with the least number of drops or lobs had to do 20 push ups as punishment.

punishment, i hate that word. :/

anyway, it was just hell tiring

after that it got better.
i think i'm pmsing.
cos throughout training i was just damn hungry and hot and thirsty.
symptoms of pms i tell you
so pokia.

physical was not terrible but it wasnt good either.

jiao lian wasn't happy with snbt.
sec ones mainly.
he kinda "scolded" us today.

stayed back and had talks with the sec ones.
rach and ger mainly.
was trying to psycho rach. haha.
rach dear! jia jia jia you! for training ok?
and ger! you too!
you two are pro lorhh! must WORK HARD.
rach, you know who you want to win.
gotta work hard hard hard!
i have plenty of faith in you. YOU CAN DO IT!

i was feeling very bad for becks.
i mean, i guess there are alot of things that's against her.
can tell she wants to work harder but yet, so many things are pushing her back.
felt so sad for her.
nevermind, WE WILL WORK ALL THIS OUT!
bit by bit.

stayed back for lunch with winnie, qiao, becks and clarissa.
becks left at 3
had a HILARIOUS time with winnie qiao and clarissa.
especially the walk down street 13
SO FUNNY!
cabbed down to awfully chocolate and had ice cream
WHOA, damn nice i tell you.
was SOOO good and the chocolate books looked SOOOO nice.
piangs, i wanted to steal them all.

cabbed back after that.

i love my sistahh, tudi and grand niece PLENTY much!
made my day. :D

hoho.
go sn shuttlers go! (:


my falling ; 5:14 PM

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

hey ladies drop it down

i'm gna rmbr this song FOREVER i tell you
FOREVERRRRR!

(if you're wondering WHAT SONG?! it's belly dancer by akon)

had caroling (one or two "L"s?) at kellington post office.
was fun! wasnt bad. heck, it was good.
had hell lot of fun playing with the smalls kids from some home.
SO CUTEEEEE!
and had alot of fun with choir mates. LOVELY! :D

actually, the real fun started when me, breena, pat, melvin, gabby and chris were going home.
the walk down to somerset mrt was alright really. except for the occasional laughter bursts from me, me and oh yahh, me.
it was relatively normal. (i say that loosely)

so we were happily in somerset mrt, walking down the stairs and i was singing belly dancer by akon
so, "hey ladies drop it down, just wna see you touch the WAHHHH!"
ok, i tripped and fell. BUT! BUT BUT BUT!
i was wearing heels ok! and come on! STAIRS?! and i was SINGING!
can't multi-task, not my fault!
so i fell and for some strange reason, i was on SUPER high.
melvin helped support me while i walk cos my right leg was killing me but he very STRANGELY lead me to an area with NO CHAIRS.
so nevermind, i leaned against the wall and mind you, i was HELL HIGH.
just kept laughing and laughing and laughing and my leg was very pain so i was kinda tearing.
so laugh and cry together.
the rest of them, hohoho.
they laughed at me
SO EVIL RIGHT?! so evil.

i was quite hysterical by the way.
was high on... er... air?
-quotes melvin.

anyhow, in the train, still high. still laughing at nothing really.
then, pat's under garments "came apart"
SO FUNNY!

gab sent an sms to jen, IT WAS HILARIOUS.
saying that i tripped and hurt my leg and am currently hysterical,
pat's clothes are coming apart and the guys are having a good laugh about it while breena was just staying by, watching helplessly.
HILARIOUS i tell you.
was super fun and funny the trip back.
haven't laughed so much in god knows when. :D

met roch at amk.
:DDD

got off at yck and TADA! i'm HOME!
though my leg still hurts.
hoho.
ok
i'm tired, i'm gna go sleep.
BYEBYE! :D


my falling ; 11:33 PM

don't pretend you don't know

today is a BAD day.
i feel very stupid. :/

so stupiddddddd!
i tell you la, damn pokia la!
rushed to school thinking i had lessons at 1145.
reached school and laura told me THERE'S NO LESSON
WHAT THE HELL?!
THEN I RUSH DOWN TO SCHOOL FOR NOTHING!
WASTE MY TIME I TELL YOU!
COULD HAVE SPENT IT DOING SOMETHING ELSE!
>:/

PIANGGGGGGGGS!
pissed me off so bad.

HURRRRR
ok. I WILL KEEP CALM!

argh.

byebye


my falling ; 1:28 PM

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Single? doubles badminton player. :D
age? 15. fifteen!
Clothes size: hmmm. depends on the brand
Siblings: 2 brothers !
Eye color: brown. i think
Shoe size: 5. depends really.
Full name: Vanessa Audris Lim

*~* R e l a t i o n s h i p s *~*
Who are your best friends?: NIC ! ASH ! CRIS ! <333
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: i have PLENTY of girlfriends. :D
Did you send this to your crush?: i don't like sending emails.
Did your crush send this to you? : considering i don't have a crush...

*-;-*F a s h i o n S t u f f *-;-*
Where is your favorite place to shop? : a shopping mall? like duhh!
Any tattoos or piercings and if so how many? ear holes! 2 on left, one on right.

*-;-* T h e E x t r a S t u f f *-;-*
Do you do drugs: NOPE!! unless you count the occasional panadol for fevers and stuff. you know, medicine?
What kind of shampoo do you use:ORGANICS SOFT AND SILKY! rocks i tell you, i swear by it!
What are you most scared of: LIZARDS! and being all alone. :/
What things do you hate the most: i don't hate, i just don't like. LIZARDS!
What are you listening to right now: kelly clarkson; because of you.
What car do you wish to have: BMW CONVERTIBLE!
Who is the last person that called you: winnie
Where do you want to get married?: hmmm. in church?
How many messenger buddies do you have online right now? too lazy to count.
How many MSN contacts do you have? : piangs, even lazier to check.

*^! F A V O R I T E S!^*
Color: no particular but i currently have a fondness for black. :D
Food: CHOCOLATE! and alot of other things.
Boy's names: hmmm. no particular.
Girls names: CHANEL! and i can't think of any now.
Subjects in school: RECESS! it kinda depends on my mood. and the lesson on that day. :D
Animal: no particular but i really like animals that are black and white, like COWS! and penguins and zebras!
Sports: badminton!
Music: pop! rock and rnb

*-;-* H a v e Y o u E v e r *-;-*
Given anyone a bath: my dog?
Smoked: OHHELLCRAP NO!
Broken the law: nope. wait, i think i littered once. -sheepish grin
Made yourself throw-up: EWW! like no?!
Gone skinny-dipping: NO! too embarressed of my body anyway.
Ever been in love: (:
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble: you mean it works? nope.

-;-* F i n a l Q u e s t i o n s *-;-*
Pizza or chocolate: CHOCOLATE!
How many people are you sending this to?: i don't send emails.
Who will send it back?: not sending to anyone!
Gold or Silver: SILVER! but i'm beginning to see the beauty in gold bangles. ohh! and white gold's nice! so is purple gold!
What is the last film you saw at the cinema? hmmm. that was AGES ago. can't even rmbr. :/
who do you hate?: nobody. hate's too strong, i just dislike.


my falling ; 11:25 PM

more than words
too many people have resang this.

saying i love you
is not the words i want to hear from you
it's not that i don't want you
not to say it, but if you only knew
how easy it would be to show me how you feel
more than words is all you have to do to make it real
then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
cos i'd already know

what would you do
if my heart was torn in two,
more than words to show you feel
that your love for me is real
what would you say
if i took those words away
then you couldn't make things new
just by saying i love you

now that i've tried to talk to you
and make you understand
all you have to do is close your eyes
and just reach out your hands and touch me
hold me close don't ever let me go
more than words is all i ever needed you to show
then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
cos i'd already know

what would you do
if my heart was torn in two
more than words to show you feel
that your love for me is real
what would you say
if i took those words away
then you couldn't make things new
just by saying i love you


my falling ; 11:21 PM

now lady, don't you envy?

ok, DISCLAIMER NOW!
i can't rmbr if it went exactly like this, but the line above
it's from a poem written by hannah ng from sn.
YUP! so don't sue me for copyright or something. yup!

anyhow, friday was a good day.
YUP! it was a VERY good day. :D
hohoho. -nods.
other than the fact that i had lessons while cdiv had training. :/
haiz. could hear all their shoes squeaking from where i was.
and the sound of the shuttle making contact with the racket.
the PA sound. haiz. oh well.
it was still a good day! maths was FUN! :D

hmmmmmm.
had mass today. (obviously, it being saturday and all)
it was alright. yupp.

i'm tired. hmmmm.
gonna do something then off i go to bed. :D


my falling ; 11:13 PM

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

cos you know

second post in the day.
hohohoho.

mom called off our "appointment"
apparently she's too busy
so now i'm stuck at home with the tv for company.
great.

winnie and carol wants to come over to watch joy luck club
ohhh,
this is gna be SO MUCH FUN! :DDD

AH LUA AHH!
if you come here can you please sign my guestbook?
anyway, when you wna come by?
i forgot your number la so i can't call you.
HEHHH.
i'll see ya on sunday!
aiyahhh!
-pushes head with finger.

hmmmmmmmm.
been wandering around some sites.
quite fascinating
hohoho.
highly entertaining reads. YAYY

oh falalala.
i'm bored.

mugglenet here i come. :D

anyone up to watch memoirs of a geisha with me
provided it aint m18? :DD


my falling ; 4:10 PM

it's all about us

addicted to the latest tatu song.
lovely. :D

anyway, i constantly seem to find myself disappointed.
i'm not trying to say i haven't disappoint anyone in my life, but that the amount of disappointments i have recently is really quite a number

quite alot of people have let me down recently.
the most recent one being today.
i have grained a ____ but lost a friend.
and you know something? i would rather not have a ____ at all and have back my friend.
haiz. no one's gna understand what the heck i'm saying.
nevermind, i've lost so be it.

then, i was disappointed in her
haiz. but i'm over that. i seriously don't understand la.
but then again, it doesn't matter. as my brother says, no friend treats a friend like this.
she just wasn't one? i supposed.
nevermind, i'm not gna feel sorry for myself or for her.
-nods

oh goshh, i realise there are so many times i have been disapointed.
but most of all, i'm disppointed in myself.
haiz. so many SHOULD HAVEs and so many COULD HAVEs and so many REGRETS.
oh well, everyone's losing it anyway.
but most of all, i'm losing it.
PFFFT.

this is so strange
most people do this post at the end of the year.
the regret post. i'm doing in WAY before then.
how ridiculous.

i'm just super fed up with people thinking that what i say, what i blog
all my "fcuk off posts" are for them.
and the stupid thing is, 99 % of the time, the people get it wrong.
and when the right people figure it out, they turn out to be so shallow!
was i wrong? somehow i just don't think so.
it was my right wasn't it? was i wrong to do something i was entitled to.
i didn't mention any names! so it cannot be slander.
normally i make it alittle less obvious but honestly, would that have been better?
i don't know and i'm really kinda fed up.
i get this feeling that no matter what i do would be wrong anyway.
was i wrong? was i wrong to be angry? is she wrong to be angry at me?
no, she is not wrong to be angry at me,
but she is wrong to be angry at me for doing what i did.
and me? was i wrong.
i was wrong because i wasn't sensitive to realise the consequences.
but i tried to right that wrong.
i tried so freaking hard but what the heck.
someone told me if she doesn't take it, she's not worth giving it to.
maybe? but shouldn't i try once again?
and give it up once and for all if it doesn't work.

(god i don't even know if she would read this)
i am sorry. for what, you know.
i have said sorry so many times but you don't seem to acknowledge it.
gotta tell you this though, i am entitled to anger just as you are.
i'm not angry at you anymore. think i'm kinda past that.
there, i'm giving it to you again. throw it back in my face if you must.
i'll take it with a pinch of salt cos if this last time doesnt work.
i give up. then you just aren't worth it anymore.
couldn't you at least TRY to? i mean if you think what the heck, NEVER.
ok, then nevermind. throw this whole thing away. but gotta remind you,
you were someone special and i did what i did because i cared enough to be angry.
and i cared enough to say i'm sorry.
i give up i truly truly do.

that said.
i kinda feel at peace with myself.
god cares if she reads this.
the whole thing about pride? HA! human pride is the reason why i have lost so much.
and i'm only FIFTEEN!

my life is wrought with trauma

jealousy?
nahhh.
i'm above being jealous at you.




PLEASEEEEE don't anyhow think the post is for you.
it's for two people really.
yahh. different parts for different people.
i'm so sick and tired of people asking me "why are you so mean. how can you say that?!"
MY blog. i say what i want.
so BUGGER OFF.
don't care if it offends anyone anymore.
it has, alot of times already.
what's one more time ehh?


my falling ; 2:08 PM

Monday, October 31, 2005

the day is taking it's toil on me

training today.
was alright la i guess
but all my "feelings" are gone.
gan jue mei you le.

come to think of it.
training wasn't tough but i'm somehow really drained. :/

got back report book today.
was, disappointing.
but what the heck la. i'll do better next year.
YES I WILL.
i will find it in me to do SUPER SUPER well.
six points for Os here i come!
my cip points shot up! haha.
that's good.

goshh, i'm tired but i don't know why.
anyone knows what time i must be in church today?
haiz.

got a blister on my right foot.
BLAHHH. i don't like blisters.

celine and sab commented on my hair today
they said it's super brown.
it is?!?! ok.
celine also said my legs are in a terrible state.
i think so too.
STUPID SANDFLIES AND MOZZIES
-hyperventilates.

ohwhatheheck.
i'm tired. think i'm gna sleep.
church later and i don't even know what time.
BLAHH.
ok byebye.


my falling ; 3:18 PM

Friday, October 28, 2005

NIC!
your guestbook opps! me! :/
oh well, nevermind. i'll try again tmr!
anyway, JIA YOU with the letter. am looking forward to it.
TAKE CARE MY DEAREST BESTIE!
and i love you EVER so much!
not to mention i miss you like crap too.
come back soon ms nicoleyeo!
LOVEEE!
<333


my falling ; 11:29 PM

OH GOD I AM FREAKING ITCHY!
AHHHHHHHH
I'M SCRATCHING SCRATCHING AND SCRATCHING
MOPIKO DOES NOT WORK AND OHMYGOD I FEEL LIKE KILLING MYSELF
OK BYEBYE.
COME TO MY FUNERAL PLEASE.
IF NOT I WILL HAUNT YOU!

ihatemozziebites.
-sprays insect repellent.


my falling ; 11:07 PM

even losers can get lucky somehow

i'm BACK from obs! and i SURVIVED IT! (((:

i have TONNES of mozzie and sand fly bites though. damn super itchy la. what the hell. cannnot take it. it's effing killing me. mopiko does not work i tell you. i'm practically SLATHERING myself with it. can almost bathe in it already la. and i'm still itchy. goshhh. so horrible. :/

OBS was alright la. i guess. haha. was quite fun.

anyhow,
day one!

was at punggol jetty place EARLY! half an hour early to be exact. took the boat across over to pulau ubin. and i kept thinking "unpending doom. AHHH" was quite freaked out as you can see. anyhow, we got sorted into our groups. was in munshi. (: our instructor was DEAN! yes. dean who absolutely rocks cos he's REALLY nice. (: and he's TEAM MANAGER. rocks.

anyhow, day one was alright la. went to our dorms and stuff. check stores etc etc. then lunch then KAYAKING kayaking was FUN! (: it's nice to be on the water and all. (: anyhow, it was fun la. did our jetty jump. was SUPERRRR FUN! though i got scratch by some thingies and it really hurt but what the hell it was SUPER fun. (:

2nd day.
did rock climbing in the beginning of the day. was REALLY cool. my goal was six slabs and i climbed ten? haha. actually, everyone climbed ten. ROCKS i tell you. munshi ROCKS. (and everyone pronouces it as munchi. haha)
then, we went for our sea expedition. kayaked to some jetty ( it was the same one we did our jetty jump at) then, pitched our tent and stuff. actually, dean pitched the whole thing. haha. couple of us went to cook food. turned out well! sleeping was crap though. it started off really well but it rained and i got so freaking wet. my shirt was literally DRIPPING with water and my hair was, well, dripping with water too. was so freaking cold. and i sweared so freaking much. hoho. haven't said so many fcuks like dno since when. it was crazy la. every two minutes one fcuk. hoho.

day three.
kayaked to another campsite. no toilet facilities at all!
so doing your business was either in the sea or somewhere behind grass. quite sick if you think about it but after awhile you get used to it. the tent we pitched was PATHETIC but it was hilarious. dean went back to obs campsite one to settle some stuff so we had to pitch it ourselves and it was well, pathetic. haha. but what the hell. had to do sentry duty with janice. was freaking tired and super dirty. couldn't bath la. but nevermind. the food we cooked was once again, super nice. (: i swear sardines never tasted so good. :D

day four!
we went to the SUPER nice quarry. was ohmygoodness paradise man! super fun swimming around. we built a raft and stuff and everyone just jumped off. the water was so nice. had alot of fun! (: dean taught us the "dunking doodoo" and "spitting cobra" game. SUPER FUNNY! teresa was the doodoo. :D kayaked back to campsite one in a CAT ONE THUNDERSTORM. was freaking scary i tell you. lighting and all. was so scared i'll die or something. was really annoyed and stuff with myself but nvm. not important. i can be such a prat at times. :/ anyhow it was super tiring la. my arms felt like they were gna come off. :/

reached campsite one and we just hung around the "one for all and all for one" place cos it was still cat one (it means there's lighting and no one's allowed outdoors)

after cat one, we kept our kayaks and stuff. then, back to dorms and we SHOWERED! YES! at a LONG LONG LONG LONG LAST! (: it was the BEST bath of my LIFE i tell you. felt so good after that. i found a snake in the male toilet. was actually quite funny cos i was standing there waiting for either megan, shar or teresa to come out so i could bathe. gillian came in and i turned to talk to her and suddenly i went "is that a snake?!" it was PUNY but still, it's a snake. gillian was saying i'm very funny. stand there so long then suddenly realise got snake. so funny. anyhow, used emergency phone and called daniel, the i dno what la. they came and took it away. bet munshi is the only group who had to use the emergency phone twice in one expedition. so funny. chloe used it once cos a water pipe burst in the male toilet. haha!

had dinner after that and we went for some tunnel thingy outside the campsite. the walk there was freaking scary cos it was COMPLETELY dark. could barely see a thing and ohman no torchlights. the tunnel thing is like this. groups of six go into some tunnel thing and it is PITCH BLACK. can't see a thing at all. was freaking scared there would be lizards but there wasn't. anyhow, we were supposed to feel our way out of the tunnel. it's not as easy as it sounds. teresa kinda broke down. poor girl. was quite hard la but i think our group was HELL lucky cos we bumped into the other munshi group. and they bumped into an MG girls group. mgs group said they think they found the way out so everyone followed. hoho. made everything SUPER easy. (:

went back after that. had dinner and SLEPT! (: i slept SUPER well. didn't wake up at all. ROCKS i tell you. (:

woke up and had PT (physical training) at 555. what the hell. floor was so freaing wet la. :/ had to lie on it and it got my shirt so dirty. had breakfast and i was feeling quite sad cos we were leaving. quite stupid really, i was so eager to get home and when i was going to leave, i was so sad. :/ packed up and stuff.

had some housekeeping with dean after lunch. got our certs and some pictures. (: did our "item" for dean and gave him our card. (: i'll miss him super much. he's REALLY nice. gave him full marks for the survey. rocks! and we think claire is in love with him. HOHOHO. super funny la claire. rocks.

came back to singapore and deb's driver gave me a lift. called my mama and took a super long bath. then.. ((((:

was supposed to sleep but i can't. i don't know why. haiz. was tired just now but i'm not anymore. :/ oh well, nevermind.

alrighty, my obs post. WHOA, so long. haha.

munshians rock! (:


my falling ; 5:55 PM